


Troll Poker

by almondjoyz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Erotica, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post War, Post-War, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Erotic Couplings, The Quidditch Pitch: Eternity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-24
Updated: 2010-02-24
Packaged: 2018-10-27 12:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10809030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almondjoyz/pseuds/almondjoyz
Summary: September first has never been so much funWritten for 2009 Wizard_Love on LJ.





	Troll Poker

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

Harry's eyelashes hurt and he knew something was wrong. Normally, one's eyelashes didn't hurt, but his did and he had no recollection as to why. Wearily, he opened his left eye and immediately shut it. Light was streaming into the room, and rather than become momentarily blinded by the light ("wrapped up like a douche") flooding whatever room he was in, he let out a groan and cracked his eyelids millimetre by millimetre until they were wide open and the light didn't burn ("it burns, it burns!") any longer.

He looked to the left and realized he was in one of Gryffindor's dormitories.

"Am I in school?" he asked the bedside table.

_No, you start Auror training tomorrow. Or is it…today?_

"What day is it?" he asked his shoes, lying on the floor.

"Mmm numnah, Harr—ay."

Harry whipped his head to the right. Ginny lay next to him, sprawled out and naked in the bed. What a way to wake up. He wanted to smile, but his cheeks hurt too much to do that.

"I'm naked next to Ginny in a Gryffindor bed. What the hell happened?" he asked himself. Ginny, it appeared was dead to the world.

Slowly, he inched his way up into a sitting position and ran a hand through his hair. Looking back to the table, he spotted his glasses and placed them on his face. The room was definitely in the boys' section of the tower as evidenced by the various posters of half-naked witches on the wall waving at him.

He couldn't see the occupants of the other beds, as the curtains were all drawn and the trunk labels weren't visible from where he was. The clock beside Ginny's bed said 5:08, causing Harry to groan. He wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, he reckoned, and swung his legs over the side of the bed and rummaged around for his clothing. Once his bottom half was covered, he threw on a shirt, not bothering with his socks, and padded out the door, making his way toward the common room.

"Gross," he groaned.

It smelled like stale liquor and, if he wasn't mistaken, there was the lovely scent of vomit somewhere, and he wondered why the house-elves hadn’t cleaned up. Harry took a few more steps toward one of the study tables and chuckled at what he saw.

Playing cards and shot glasses.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

_"Thank you for allowing Ron and me to do this, Professor McGonagall," Harry Potter said in his best, most charming voice. On the other side of the stern professor, Ron and Seamus made faces to show Harry what a kiss-up he was. "We really appreciate it."_

_Ron barely contained a laugh._

_"Well, you shouldn't expect something like this again, Mr. Potter," she answered with a raised brow._

_Harry smiled while thinking,_ Well, yeah, because Ron and I won't be able to contact anyone until Christmas. _He shook the proffered hand and then passed, joining Ron and Seamus as they made their way up the stairs toward the Gryffindor common room._

_This was the second September first that Harry wasn't a student. Last year, of course, he'd been off with Ron and Hermione. This year, he and Ron were at the castle as guests because the following day they began Auror training, which included being sequestered until December without any contact beyond owls, and even those would be heavily screened. With a fair amount of pleading from Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, and several of the other seventh years, Professor McGonagall allowed them one evening at Hogwarts, for old times' sake._

_"So, Seamus, what've you got planned? And please don't tell me you haven't planned," Ron said, beginning to climb the stairs to the fifth floor._

_Seamus, even though he'd attended Hogwarts the previous year, had returned primarily because Lavender Brown came back to redo her seventh year. She was recovering well from her attack, but Seamus vowed he'd protect her from any sort of crass comment that was sent her way. While Lavender was still pretty, a lot of her self-confidence had diminished and so having Seamus dote on her like he did was a step in the right direction for her recovery._

_"Ah, ye know me too well," Seamus said, wearing a sly smile. "But only if Potter's ready to let loose."_

_"Me?" Harry stopped on the stair. "I'll have you know I've let loose quite a bit over the summer."_

_"Yeah, with my sister," Ron stated with a shake of his head._

_"And what about Hermione? I know for a fact that she's 'let loose' several times a week since coming back from Australia," Harry teased._

_Seamus began laughing while Ron's face turned a lovely shade of crimson._

_"Coming….Hermione….coming," Seamus said amid his laughter._

_Ron hit him on the head. "What are you? Twelve?" He made his way up the remaining stairs, stopping on the outside of the portrait hole. "Hurry up, you tossers."_

_"How loose does Hermione go?" Seamus whispered to Harry._

_"Don't make me talk about it. Please."_

_\- - - - - - - - - -_

_"I'd like to propose a toast."_

_The chatter in the common room dissipated and those present looked up at Seamus. In addition to Seamus, Harry, and Ron, several others sat around the room. Ginny sat on Harry's lap in a chair while Hermione sat on the floor in front of Ron. Lavender and Luna sat on the sofa with Hannah Abbott, who couldn't take her eyes off Neville seated across the room from her. Dean sat on Neville's right with Seamus on his left._

_Seamus stood and announced grandly, "To Harry Potter 'n' Ron Weasley, who'll be goin' off to fight evil wizards and keep us all safe for years to come." He wavered slightly under the influence of the alcohol he'd already consumed. Everyone raised their glasses._

_"Here, here!" Dean shouted a little too loudly. "But it's not like they haven't already done that."_

_"Didn't ask for it before," Harry pointed out, slamming down the last of his Firewhisky._

_"So why are you becoming an Auror?" asked Ginny from her perch on his lap, a little tipsy. "I don't understand it." Her answer came in the form of a deep kiss from Harry._

_"That's really the only way to shut her up," Ron said to no one in particular._

_"Didn't work for me," pointed out Dean._

_"Well, you're a little too dark and your eyes aren't green, Thomas." Seamus tossed Dean another bottle of beer. "You never had a chance."_

_"Thanks so damn much, Finnigan." Dean cracked open the bottle. "For the beer, that is."_

_"You have a chance with me," came Luna's light and lilting voice, causing everyone to turn to the blonde, who sat demurely on the sofa. "If it's intercourse you're referring to, you should know that I'm most willing. Just like I was this morning."_

_It seemed as if the next few seconds ticked by in stubborn slowness; no one spoke, but rather stared at Dean for countless moments, waiting for him to respond. When he didn't, Seamus cleared his throat, breaking the thick tension in the air._

_"Anyone up for a game?"_

\- - - - - - - - - -

Harry heard a noise at the top of the stairs and looked up wearily. Not only did his eyelashes hurt, but his ears rang, sounding like the screech of a mermaid. Ron clambered clumsily down the stairs in nothing but his underwear, a pair of blue y-fronts, which he hadn't quite pulled up enough. Wiry hair stuck up over the top of the elastic and Harry had to look away, embarrassed at his friend's state of undress.

"Whudda you doin' up?" Ron asked groggily while his hand rubbed his lightly stubbled chin.

"Light hurt my eyes," Harry answered wearily. "Why're you up?"

"Hermione snores."

"That's enough. No more, please." He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the sofa, which was the same one that he and Ginny had snogged on several times during his sixth year.

Ron plopped down next to him on the sofa. "It hurts to breathe."

"Then die."

"Shut it. You'd be suspect number one."

"Why? It would be ruled suicide if you held your breath long enough," Harry said softly. Logically, he knew Ron couldn't hold his breath until he died, but the conversation was just funny enough to continue.

"Not once the facts about last night come to light. You practically murdered me." Ron yawned and lifted his hips to pull up his underwear.

"Me? What'd I do?" Harry's mind swam with all sorts of scenarios and all of them involved copious amounts of alcohol. That much was obvious from all the bottles strewn across the room.

"You're a fucking poker genius."

\- - - - - - - - - -

_Lavender squealed in excitement. "Like Truth or Dare?" she asked excitedly, clapping her hands as she bounced up and down on the sofa._

_"Not quite, love," Seamus answered, summoning another bottle of whisky. "It's a drinking game and a card game."_

_"Poker? I can play poker," Dean answered. He took the bottle from Seamus and popped it open._

_"What's poker?" Ron asked, leaning forward onto Hermione's shoulders. If it was Muggle, Ron was in. He'd somehow got an enthusiasm for Muggle quirks, much like his father._

_Hermione cocked her head to the side. "Gambling. You don't want to do it."_

_"And why not?" Ron shot back with a great degree of indignation._

_"Because you have no poker face. You'd give away your hand." She patted him on the knee reassuringly, if not a little patronizingly._

_"But, Hermione, it don't matter if he ain't got a poker face wit' this game," Seamus told her. "He'll never see his card."_

_"How can you play poker without seeing your cards?" Harry interrupted._

_"It's Troll Poker," Seamus said._

_"Oh no," Neville groaned._

_Everyone turned toward the normally shy, awkward boy they'd grown up with._

_"Neville's played poker with trolls? Fascinating," Luna said dreamily. "Did the trolls grunt their bets or knock on the table with their knuckles?" Her eyes were wide, almost as if she was plotting out a story to publish in_ The Quibbler. __

_"No. Uncle Algie played it all the time when I was little and it wasn't pretty. He lost a lot," he said with a wry smile._

_"Ah, so ye know the rules then, eh?"_

_Neville shook his head. "Not really. I wasn't allowed to watch. Gran wasn't too fond of Algie."_

_"So what is Troll Poker then?" came the small voice of Hannah Abbott. "I think I'd like to play." As she spoke, her eyes never left Neville. "Might be interesting."_

_Neville turned crimson._

_Once Hannah spoke, the rest of the group joined in agreement. Ron noted that some seemed more interested than others, most notably Dean, Harry, and Seamus._

_"First," Seamus began, "we need a deck of cards. Muggle cards. You got some, Dean?"_

_Dean nodded and _Accioed_ his playing cards, which briskly zoomed down the stairs and onto his lap. "Check."_

_"Now gather 'round, children, and sit in a circle. It's more fun this way."_

_They all moved to the floor and listened as Seamus explained the rules of the game. Once alcohol was mentioned, Hermione's Head Girl light turned on._

_"Seamus, we've already broken enough rules tonight by drinking," she said primly as everyone else groaned. "I'd rather not abuse them too much on my first night as Head Girl."_

_"Hermione, come on, relax for once. I'm going away and you won't get any letters from me. You won't see me until Christmas break and you won't…" Ron leaned over and whispered the biggest thing she'd be missing during his absence, causing her eyes to widen and cover her mouth._

_"It's not about you tonight," piped in Ginny. "It's Harry and Ron's going away party. Think of them."_

_Harry smiled and gave Ginny a squeeze. "You just want to see me drunk."_

_"I think it would be fabulous to observe you all in a state of inebriation," Luna interrupted. "Father says that when people lose control due to drink, their inhibitions drop and anything could happen, if you know what I mean."_

_Seamus grinned wickedly. "Aye." He waggled his eyebrows and gave Lavender, who was seated next to him on the floor a wink and a squeeze._

_"Doesn't always work when you've had too much to drink, love." Lavender bumped his shoulder playfully._

_Laughter broke out among them and Seamus shifted uncomfortably._

_"Can't take what you dish out? My, my, Finnigan, maybe we shouldn't play?" Ron challenged. He smiled when Seamus perked up and shot Ron a scathing look._

_"Weasley, you're on!"_

_= = = = = = = = =_

__

 

_"Dammit, Harry, are you usin' Legel—lege—legilaman…You readin' me mind?" Seamus scoffed as Harry bet another two shots, making him grin crookedly._

_"No. I just know what you have on your head," he answered._

_They were on what seemed like their eightieth hand of Troll Poker, and Harry had an eight of diamonds on his forehead while Seamus had a seven of clubs. Ron had folded when the bets were at five shots of Firewhisky. They were up to ten at this point, and only Harry and Seamus remained. Ron looked between them, each of them determined to outlast the other in the game of wits, or witlessness as it could be stated; Harry looking amused and swaying slightly, while Seamus was looking cross-eyed at Harry every now and then._

_"It's your bet, Seamus," Dean reminded him._

_Ron forgot that Dean was still there._

_"Fold. One, two, three….show your card." Each of them placed their card on the floor. "Shit. Fine, gimme the seven shots."_

_"Ten," Luna reminded him. She was the last one to fold, although she should have stayed in as she had a ten of hearts._

_With a growl, Seamus downed his drinks and handed the cards to Ginny, who was the next dealer._

_"So, ladies and gents," she said in a thick, Cockney accent, "let's make it a bit more interesting, shall we?" She continued shuffling the cards expertly, even though she was getting tipsy._

_"How much more interesting?" Harry leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Even though he hadn't lost as much as, say, Lavender, he was still funny after he'd been drinking._

_"Strip poker," she answered as the room quieted down._

_The boys in the group smirked while the girls looked shyly at each other. The only one who seemed confident was Ginny, and that scared Ron._

_"Gin, come on, I don't want to see you naked. You're not that good of a poker player," he said, earning a glare from his sister._

_"I think it'd be fun," added Hannah, once again causing everyone in the group to stare at her. Hannah was much more liberated with some alcohol in her. "You blokes are pretty…nice looking."_

_Neville blushed again and took a swig from the bottle. "I'm in."_

= = = = = = = = = =

"Naked? I was naked?" Harry asked, feeling embarrassed at the story Ron had just told.

"No, and that's why I'm mad at you. You weren't naked."

"Aye, an' Lav's upset cause she didn't get to see your bits, Harry." Seamus had stumbled into the room at some point. Funny, Harry hadn't noticed when he joined them.

"Really? She wanted to see…me?" Harry could feel his temperature rise.

"You do realize that you and Neville are the only ones she hasn't snogged or fucked, don't you?" Seamus said bluntly.

"Wha—what?"

Ron shook his head. "Before you ask, no. She didn't do me, but she did…explore."

Seamus and Harry looked at Ron quizzically.

"That didn't come out right. She didn't see it, okay? She touched it." Ron was growing increasingly embarrassed at the situation.

"And does Hermione know about Lavender's…expedition?" Harry asked, barely containing the laughter building up inside him.

"Yeah," came Ron's barely audible whisper.

"What was that?" teased Seamus.

"Shut it, you twat. You know all about it."

"This is the first I've heard of it."

If someone's jaw dropping could make a sound, Harry was sure that Ron's would have made a resounding _clunk_. He began stammering and shifting in his chair, looking mortified and sick all at once.

"Nah, just takin' the mickey. Tol' me all about it."

Harry burst out in laughter at his friend's expense, watching Ron turned various shades of red and purple in efforts to sort out his emotions.

"But really, Ron, after last night, no one can say they haven't seen it."

= = = = = =

_"Not really strip poker, you blighters," Ginny said with a shake of her head. "Just, well…maybe, yeah it is." She began giggling again as she continued to shuffle the cards._

_"Whud are you talkin' bout," Ron said with a burp._

_"If you fold, you take you take the shots. If you lose the hand, you take off a piece of clothing," she answered with a grin._

_A rumbling of dissention came from various sources: Hermione didn’t want to strip, Lavender didn't want to see girl parts, Harry thought they should just drink and not play anymore, while Seamus just wanted to play naked._

_"Hey, it's a good idea," Neville said, slurring his words greatly. "I'm a bloody war hero. I had a growth spurt and all the baby fat's gone." To emphasize his point, Neville pulled off his shirt, exposing his newly trim torso._

_"Ooooh," Lavender said with reverence. "Shay, why don't you look like that?"_

_"You do look rather fetching," Luna agreed. "What's your bum look like?"_

_"I saw it once in the Room of Requirement," Ginny added. "It's pretty nice but not as good as Harry's." With that, Ginny gave her boyfriend a quick pinch on his backside while Neville coughed and looked away._

_"Ginny!" Hermione blushed at her friend's actions._

_"Oh come on, Hermione. You mean you didn't sneak a peek when you three were out there?" Ginny glanced from Hermione to Ron and then Harry. "Did you?" she asked him._

_Harry stammered and reached for a bottle of beer and drank heavily. Ron took a swig from his own bottle._

_"You didn't!" Hermione said indignantly. "You…you…"_

_"Perverts? Is that the word you're looking for?" Lavender suggested. "Well, they were both healthy, young men. Still are." She reached over and traced Ron's bicep appreciatively. "I remember, Won-Won. Don't you?"_

_Ron's eyes widened and he quickly swapped places with Hermione._

_"Truth or Dare?" Ginny suggested. "I think it's time we found out exactly what went on in that tent, don't you?"_

_Hannah smiled and Lavender giggled. Luna, who was snogging Dean in the corner, hadn't noticed the new topic of conversation._

_"Okay, Ron. Confess. What did you see?" Ginny asked gleefully._

_"Nothing. Wasn't paying attention," he grumbled and continued to nurse his beer sullenly._

_"Bollocks!" Harry exclaimed. "You told me saw her in the river taking a bath!"_

_"Ron!"_

_"Harry!"_

_"Interesting," Seamus added. "What'd you see? Tits? Arse?"_

_"No!" Ron drank again. "Nothing."_

_"Liar," teased Harry. "Told me that she was washing her hair and her back arched just so—"_

_"Fine! I saw her tits!" Ron finally admitted, turning to Hermione. "Her glorious, ripe, round breasts." He lurched forward and attacked her mouth, sending them tumbling to the floor._

_The others watched as they continued to kiss and writhe on the floor, seemingly unaware that they were in front of an audience. Even Luna and Dean stopped their snogging and watched them with amusement._

_"Should we stop them?" asked Neville, looking curiously at them._

_"Nah. They won't remember it in the morning. Hermione's not that good of a poker player and Ron's not that big of a drinker," Harry pointed out._

_"And what about you, oh Chosen One?" Ginny asked as she leaned in dangerously close to Harry. "Did you sneak a peek?"_

_"I need to hear this," Ron said, pulling away from a breathless Hermione. "Your turn."_

_"Come on, Harry. We're all friends," Lavender urged._

_Harry looked at Ginny, looking as if he were going to vomit. "Arse. I saw her arse, okay?" He took another drink. “Nothing sexual. In fact, it gave me nightmares. Like seeing my sister's arse."_

_"My arse gave you nightmares?"_

_= = = = = = = = = =_

_"One las' hand, Pudder, 'kay," Ron slurred._

_"Yah, sure. Why not."_

_The party had thinned out quite a bit since Ron and Harry's revelations. As it turned out, a drunk Hermione was a rather loose-lipped Hermione. She admitted to walking in on Ron as he lay on his bed wanking; she also said that Harry did indeed have a nice bum._

_Harry, Ron, and Seamus were the only ones still participating in Troll Poker. They'd long ago lost track of how many shots were bet and simply drank until fire came out of their ears if they lost the hand._

_"I say we raise de stakes a bit, don' you?" Seamus suggested._

_"Whuddya have in mind?" Harry said, swaying where he sat._

_"Strip. Loser has to strip and run 'round de room. Nekkid." Seamus grinned and cocked his head._

_"Naked? Who's getting naked?" chimed Lavender, who was half asleep on the floor. "Hermione, someone's naked!" She nudged her friend, shaking her awake._

_"Wha?" came Hermione's slurred answer._

_"Someone's gonna get naked."_

_"Naked? Harry? Is Harry naked?" Ginny asked. "Lemme at him!" She crawled across the floor and reached him. "He's got clothes on, you fucking liar!"_

_"One more hand, love. Then you can get me nekkid," Harry told her, bending down to kiss her cheek but missing._

_"Luna! Get over here!" Lavender shouted, cringing at the volume of her voice. "They're gonna get naked!"_

_"But I'm already naked!"_

_Several heads turned toward the source of the sound. Hermione giggled, Harry snorted, and Ginny looked transfixed at the sight before her. Luna was straddling Dean and bouncing up and down._

_"Carry on," Seamus said with a flourish of his hand. "Where's Neville? He should be here."_

_"I think he's with Hannah," Harry said, looking around the room. "He's becoming a man."_

_"A toast! To Neville!"_

_"To Neville!" everyone shouted but only Harry, Ron, and Seamus drank the toast._

_"So, one las' hand. I'll deal," Harry said as he gave Ron one card and took one himself. "On three. One…two…three."_

_They slapped the cards to their heads and Seamus chuckled._

_"Wha's so funny, Fingan?" Ron asked, turning to Seamus._

_"Nuttin'. Jus' laughin'. Yer bet, Weasley."_

_Ron stared at the card on Harry's forehead, a five of spades. "Three shots."_

_Harry grinned. "Four."_

_Ron snorted. "Six."_

_Ginny snorted and Hermione gasped._

_"Call. Reveal!"_

_They placed their cards on the floor and Harry cheered as he saw Ron's deuce of diamonds and his own five._

_"FUCK!" Ron swore._

_"Ronald, language!" Hermione reprimanded._

_"Pay up! Six shots!" Ginny told her brother, already pouring them out._

_Ron stared at the Firewhisky with a bemused expression. So much liquor had been consumed that night and it didn't look like he could take much more. He looked around the room and reached for the glasses, tossing them back one after the other in rapid succession. Once finished, he fell back onto the floor, belching loudly._

_"One more thing, Ron," reminded Lavender. "You promised!"_

_Ron sat bolt upright, swearing again. "I didn't promise!"_

_"Don't matter. That was the condition of the las' hand," Harry slurred, beginning to hum "The Stripper."_

_"Bloody stupid bet." Ron stood and as the others joined in with Harry's singing, he began his strip tease._

= = = = = = = = = =

Once Harry stopped laughing, he looked up at Ron, who looked a little green around the gills.

"Ron, just be thankful you didn't have to do it around the Great Hall at breakfast."

"Did I ever tell you that your voice sounds like crunching gravel?" Ron said with a groan.

"Well, at least I had a good time afterward," Seamus said with a smile.

"Oh really? Like what?" Harry asked.

"The usual."

= = = = = = = = = = =

_"Faster!" Lavender whined beneath Seamus. Her legs were up on his shoulders and he was driving into her with all his might, swearing colourfully in Gaelic as he did so._

_Seamus adjusted his grip on her arse and tightened his hold, going deeper inside her._

_"Come already, will ye?" he begged. He'd cast a charm on his prick that kept him hard long after he'd come, but she just wasn't cooperating. Granted, he did bring her off with his mouth and fingers before, but she always liked coming with him inside her. It had been thirty minutes since he'd entered her, and her orgasm was taking its own sweet time, frustrating them both terribly._

_"Well, I can't help it! You're doing something wrong!" she shot back at him. Her fingers went to her clit and began rubbing furiously, trying valiantly to bring about her elusive orgasm._

_"I've tried ev'ry trick in the book, you harpy!" He began grunting again as he thrust harder against her. Lavender moaned in pleasure. Trading insults with each other was something that inexplicably turned each other on._

_"You—you fucker! Just…a….bit…MORE! OH FUCKING HELL!" she bellowed as she finally came. Her inner walls throbbed around him and her fingernails tore down his back, making him howl in pain._

_"Bitch! I hate when you do that!" he said with a smirk, falling forward to lave her breasts with his mouth and tongue. His motions became tender as his hands stroked her lovingly and gently while he moved his mouth across her collarbone and onto her shoulder before cradling her in his arms._

_"I love you, Seamus," she said with a yawn._

_"An' I you." He placed a kiss atop her head and pulled the covers over them, containing their warmth and love, never wanting it to go away._

= = = = = = = = = = =

"That's a load of codswallop," snorted Ron. "‘The usual’. Yeah right. You were probably passed out like everyone else."

"You can ask Lav if you want. She loves talkin' bout sex," Seamus said with a smile.

"So what happened with you, Ron?" Harry asked. "You two were pretty keen last night there on the floor."

Ron blushed. "Just a little…well, nothing, really."

= = = = = = = = = =

_"Wha—what are you…doing?" Hermione panted as she knelt on her hands and knees on the bed._

_"Always…wanted to try this…" His voice was raspy as he gave his hips a thrust, and none too gently._

_"Ouch! That hurts!" she screamed. "Ron…gently, please."_

_"Bloody hell, this is brilliant. Just like the first time," he moaned mostly to himself as his eyes rolled back in his head. His hands caressed her arse and his hips settled into a gentler rhythm. Ron's cock eased out of her and as Hermione sighed, he once again slid inside her, grunting at the tightness that surrounded him._

_"Oh…that's…uhngh…" she muttered incoherently, her body taking up Ron's pace as she arched her back, thrusting against him._

_One of his hands left her hip and slid around toward her folds. Finding them wet, he smiled and began fingering her nub of nerves and teasing her entrance. Ron continued the easy pace, revelling in the sounds Hermione was making as they thrust against the other. As they moved, the headboard emphasized their movements, hitting the wall with repetitive thuds._

_"Please…Ron…inside me!" she begged._

_He backed up, slipping from her body, and flipped her over, entering her without missing a beat. Ron sank onto her, sighing, as she welcomed him inside his heat. This was where he belonged and he continued the slow, gentle pace._

= = = = = = = = = =

Harry snorted. "I've heard your 'nothing really' several times before, Ron."

"Shut it, Harry. Don't need to know what you did with my sister," Ron grumbled, rolling his eyes. "I once thought it would be great to have you dating her. But now, not so much."

"Come on, Ron," Seamus said. "It's nothing you haven't done before."

"But…my sister. I have her virtue to protect."

Harry snorted, knowing full well that Ginny's virtue was long gone.

"You're awfully quiet, Potter," Seamus said. "What'd you do last night?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing."

= = = = = = = = = =

_"You're drunk."_

_"So are you," she purred back, attacking his lips with hers and sucking on his tongue. "You're a sexy drunk."_

_"So are you," Harry muttered before leaving her mouth and gliding his lips down her neck, pausing to trace his tongue along the shell of her ear, making her giggle. "And I'm gonna slide my hard, throbbing dick inside you and make you scream."_

_At that, Ginny flipped him over and straddled him. Her hands went to the hem of her shirt and disappeared for a moment as she threw off her t-shirt and knelt across him bare-breasted. In a flurry of hands and clothing, they stripped off their clothes and sat naked on the bed. On reflex, Harry's hands went to her round, firm breasts, kneading them and bringing the nipples to hard, taut peaks. Her head fell back and she moaned in delight, urging him on. Harry sat up quickly, engulfing one nipple inside his mouth, then abruptly pulled away._

_"What?" Ginny asked breathily, looking down at him like some sort of erotic goddess._

_"I think I'm gonna puke," he whined, falling back onto the bed with a groan._

_Ginny slid off him and began kissing her way down his stomach._

_"But, Har-reeeee, I'm hor—neeeee!"_

_She spread his legs and reached down to find him semi-hard. She could get it back, she decided, and began stroking in earnest._

_"I—I know, but—oh shit!" Harry swung away from her and ran across the room to the lavatory, retching into toilet._

_Upon hearing the splash of vomit into the water of the toilet, Ginny began to feel queasy herself, and without much warning, she soon joined Harry in the bathroom in front of her own porcelain throne._

= = = = = = = = = =

"Liar," Seamus announced. "You're the bloody Chosen One and you couldn't get laid last night?"

"A gentleman never kisses and tells." Harry smiled.

"Gentleman, my arse," Seamus snorted. "You nearly let her give you a blow job right there." He pointed to the area where the group sat the previous evening.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Ron covered his ears and walked away, heading up the stairs while the others laughed as they watched him head upstairs.

"So you puked?" Seamus asked, half-amused.

"Yep," Harry admitted. "Nasty taste, too. Never mix your liquors."

"Preachin' to the choir, Potter. Preachin' to the choir."


End file.
